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Series 2, Ep20: Low Belief to High Conviction

 

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[00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to the Unmasking Unschool podcast after a few months break. I'm really excited to be back talking with you. I have so much to say to you, so much to update you on after the big decision I made back in November of last year, 2024. That has really cascaded into everything, and I've been running to catch up with it.

It's felt like a paradigmatic decision. I'm in a new reality. There is a newly evolved form. The solar systems is taking as well as who I am inside it, as well as the journey and who my people who come and work with me experience themselves as in the work. So, and what has also been something that I spoke to is a new podcast that's coming and what has been my experience of trying to get that out in the world is a lot of challenge.

Because of [00:01:00] how much muscle memory I had for what this used to be. Since my thinking has evolved since the level of conviction I have about this work has evolved, there is a completely different energy coming through that is much more direct, much more to the point, has a different focus, obviously, and it's felt like.

Going straight into that has felt too big of a jump cut. And so what I'd love to do is share with you, walk with you. On a number of what I'm calling Bridge episodes like I'm laying the path and building a bridge for us to come from over here in the Unmasking Unschool Podcast into the new one, so that it's not such a big jump cut, but also so that I can share a lot of the learning that's been going on behind the scenes.

That is an example of some of what I teach and mentor on. Inside of Flair House. Flair House is the [00:02:00] new experience, journey process that I invite you into. It's the new way of working with me that was launched back in November and. The first round finished and has felt amazing to deliver and everything I hoped it would be and more.

And also has felt like just the beginning. And so now that I'm in the second round and stabilizing a bit more, adjusting a bit more. I am also newly feeling the capacity to come back into podcasting, so I'm glad to be back and I'm glad you are here with me and that I can share it with you. Some of the, yeah, the lessons, the learning and the clarity I have on how.

At a structural level, change happens in your life as a result of internal reorientation to what you most value and [00:03:00] also what most values you, and specifically in your work. I spoke in the last episode to you connecting to the impact of it and that being an energy source. I also spoke to. You know the impact of making a decision like that, but there's so much more to it.

I really want to share with you the more to it. As well as, yeah, share some of the thinking inside of Flair House, including four arenas, four areas of internal change that make that structural change possible. These four areas interact, they expand each other. They're not linear. But they are the place to problem solve.

They are places where you have the most agency and these four areas are your belief, your capacity, your skill, and your identity. And in this episode, I'm just gonna speak to belief and I'm gonna do another capacity episode, a skill episode, and then an identity episode. And [00:04:00] this is also really coming from me recently, then going through an experience of what happens when belief.

Builds like belief in yourself, belief in what you're doing, belief in what you want being possible when that builds to a level of conviction that makes a leap of faith possible. So let me explain. People talk about a leap of faith as like the starting point, and I actually think it's the end point, and I actually think it's the end point of a particular stage into a next one, a particular experience of reality.

And the leap is into a new reality. And so I wanna speak to the journey of building belief to make these kinds of leaps of faith possible. And by leap of faith, what I really mean is the type of decision that is paradigmatic, that is like the entire conception of what reality is [00:05:00] changes in that decision.

And it's to a degree that something that didn't feel possible or available suddenly feels newly available in your reality. Like it's just in your reach and you've built enough belief that you can leap into that new reality with your whole self, with two feet landing in that new reality as something that you can trust, that you can put your full weight on.

And so if you are someone who is trying to create a new reality in your life, you're trying to change things and also what's happening in the world. If you are someone who works in a way that the value of your work is in its power to transform things like you are. In the work of transformation, whether that is creativity or it's culture change, or it's the way that people relate, it's something that you are doing that shapes our experience of the world, our future.

What's possible then, this is going to be highly relevant because your journey of [00:06:00] belief building in yourself is a journey of taking actions that are actually small steps of faith. They're not. Giant leaps. They're not leaps of faith. They are tiny steps in you intentionally directing your attention and your body to go and stand in the the small amount of belief that you have.

That yeah, this could be possible. This is something that is a hunch, that is an insight that is an inkling I have for what could be possible, and I'm putting my energy into that belief, into that possibility. I'm putting my, my time, my uh, resources, like my life force energy there. I've spoken before on this podcast about you, you don't need to start with full belief.

You can start with 5% belief. It's really that you might have 5% belief and if you. Start taking actions from that. The actions that you will take will start to build the proof, the evidence that [00:07:00] your belief system, your body system needs to be able to say, okay, I can start to expect that as my new normal, as my reality.

I'm building evidence that that can be true. And the more and more you do that, the more and more that builds momentum to a degree that. You'll reach a point, which I reached last November, where your conviction is high enough that it builds like a crescendo in your body, in your belly. Something is possible.

I'm ready. The time is now. Let's go. The experience of this for me was the experience is something is off, something is off. About the structures in which I'm working and that feeling of something being off was a feeling of restraint, like the structures that I'm working in don't fit. Anymore. This feels too small.

It feels too tight. I feel limited. And it's the experience of expanding the inner [00:08:00] body-based sense of possibility, expanding in you to the degree that you are ready to throw off those structures and leap into new ones, leap into a new reality that is asking you to restructure everything. So belief is material.

Belief is the literal structuring of your reality. And when something's off, you are often at that point of a leap of faith being possible because you've taken so many steps in faith steps, in belief that have built enough conviction to say, Nope, it's time. We're ready. Something new is available. And so last year for me it was the feeling of like, you know when crabs get too big for their shells and they have to go and find a new one, it's like that.

So the decision was paradigmatic. It was a decision to create an environment that's hyper attuned. To the journey of you knowing the value of what you have to offer in your work in the world, and the conviction came because I'd built enough [00:09:00] evidence, enough proof in my experience that my body was so convicted, so certain in what is possible for you in my skill in coaching you into that possibility.

How much can change and how quickly, and what that process involves. And so all of that conviction built a crescendo that was like, no, no, no, no, no. There's a whole other level at which I could be operating at, which my clients could be operating at, which this could be doing things in the world. And also the time is now like, fuck you, being in your leadership now matters.

When you know the value of what you have to offer, and you back that tangibly with real life like material structuring, and you are building that value in the world, and that structuring is reflecting the value of it in your economic systems, in how energetically [00:10:00] resourced you are in doing the work, in your relationships, in how you best work and how you treat yourself in the work.

When you really know the value, all of those start to level up. 'cause you start to have the discernment. You start to have a different standard for how you operate and you start stewarding and protecting and honoring the value much more effectively. So for me, this was the decision to really back that transformation being available to you to follow on, on the conviction I'd already built, the proof I'd already built and.

It was like the feeling of things being off became unbearable. It was like, no, no, no shit needs to change. I need to do things differently. And the restructuring of my entire business was based on that and cascaded from that, a paradigmatic decision. Those of you that have already started, you are already in work that you've initiated, that you are building proof and belief in.

You have a lot of [00:11:00] evidence for. You will know. Belief is not some airy fairy self gaslighting thing. Belief needs proof, right? And often you are the first proof. Your actions are the first proof. Your own commitment and your own decisions, your own belief in the possibility of it are the first proof. And then there's tipping points that you reach in your own belief system that new things become possible.

New vistas open up new paradigms on what you're doing, and the impact of it reveal themselves to you in a kind of fractal unfolding. You change the world changes. The world changes. You change things open up in this way. Now the idea that belief needs evidence works both ways, right? So this matters because if you are someone who has.

As we all have been interacting with a sociopolitical context and its systems that are [00:12:00] based on inequity, that are based on extraction, colonial, industrial, patriarchal practices and values where what you bring, who you are, how you do things. Are because the goal of any system is to maintain itself and that system is something that you are at odds with or you are inconvenient to or it doesn't serve you, then you may be adapted to the experience that who you are and what you have to offer are not seen, are not resourced, are not valued.

Do not have as much space, are not as welcomed, are not recognized. And so the idea that your work could be valued in the world, that you could build the value of it is a belief that is harder to get to. Right. And so it matters because we don't all have the same starting point of what feels available as something to believe in.

Not everyone's heart is the same, [00:13:00] and when you have a lot of evidence, a lot of proof that it's harder for you, that you are challenged, that it's not possible for you, that people won't see the value, then that belief works in that way too. Then your starting point is different. And so your body-based belief system will be adapted to the expectation.

The reality that is most trustable, that most reliable in your experience is that. And so how do you start there when you are experiencing more barriers and also experiencing the idea that those barriers are not there, that it's somehow your fault and carrying the weight of perhaps the historical load of how you are red.

The interpersonal load of how you'll be interpreted in those value systems. The internalization of it, of the belief that it's somehow your fault that you don't do well in these systems, and that success as [00:14:00] yourself is harder. That that's something to do with who you fundamentally are, or that what you have to offer is not as valuable.

And so we have to start with seeing that. Internalization with recognizing the evidence that is stacked against you, that you creating value that can be seen, sought after, and highly valued in the world, doesn't have to involve contortion or performance or leaving parts of you behind. And so what you are building belief in with these tiny steps of faith is the idea that who you are, your work in the world does get to be seen.

Does. Matter, but also that any step that you take in that journey is highly transformative, right? It does things. It demands change, it carves new realities. It challenges things in you and in others. And so [00:15:00] you cannot compare one step of faith on your journey with. The steps that other people might be taking or people who have less barriers, your journeys cannot be compared, but also you cannot see the value of what you do.

And the step you take as equivalent, right? The steps that you take to believe in the value of what you do are highly richly concentrated with life giving value. They speak to something that is more possible than what the systems we live in allow for and acknowledge. And so. The tiny belief steps that you take.

If you also see that that has deeply transformative value, that there is enormous value in that, that it's not comparable. You can create value whoever you are from wherever you are starting and whatever your circumstances, and you get to choose what is the thing I most want to offer. [00:16:00] So if you have. A dream, something that is an instinct, an insight for something that is you doing your thing in your way.

That necessarily means that you'll be doing things differently. Doing things that are engaging with the world as it is, as, okay, that's one option, but offering the idea that there is other possibility, that there is what could be, and that there are people who. Will resonate with you taking those steps.

Who can join you in that? Who can also believe in and see the value? And knowing that you have so much more agency than you might have been led to believe, to lead on this, to be the visionary, influential that you have something. Then what you are trying to believe in is also different. And the beliefs that you are building proof on are [00:17:00] not the same that as the ones that the system rewards, right?

And so this is foundational to how you see the journey, how you see you in taking those steps forward. And you'll know this if you've already begun your own self-initiated work. If you're doing work that is transformative, you'll know this already, right? The work of of self initiating a structure that reflects a belief in you, that every new level that you reach inside, that is number one, confronting you with belief systems that you inherited, and also requiring you to build new belief systems as you go and.

That in of itself is you building value, you building things that are sources for belief for other people. So this direction and this work that I'm inviting you into, that [00:18:00] I'm going into, that I'm doing inside of Flair House isn't easy. It is the swapping out of the heart of appeasing a system for the heart of creating your own systems, but creating your own is so much more energizing.

It gives so much more back to you. I've talked a lot on this podcast about the discomfort of the unknown, the tunnels of UN, and the willingness to be uncomfortable. But I also wanna speak to the other aspects of the unknown, which is the joy, the energy, the fulfillment, the being surprised with the bounty of, oh wow.

Like look at who I'm being in the world. Look at what my work represents when I zoom right out. And I think about all the people that came before me, and all the people that will come after and catching up to that. And so. There is a journey in your belief system about what you are deciding works, what you're deciding to bet [00:19:00] on, what you're deciding to put your weight on, where you are directing your attention and your energy and your time, and building the belief that, yeah, that gets to work.

So belief you becoming aware of being conscious of the belief systems that you've absorbed, the ways that you may be carrying the weight of inequities and harm that you've experienced in interacting with those systems. The way that those may be shaping your belief system about what's possible and what feels safe to do what feels okay and available, but also you knowing that belief is one of the areas that you have agency in, that you get to shape through what you then decide to pull yourself into and decide that this gets to be real.

This is something I. I am valuing and that I'm worthy of being in the expansion of who I am in that, but also of the [00:20:00] fruits of creating that kind of transformative value. In the world. In the next episode, I'm gonna talk to the next arena, which is capacity. This is all about your energy, like having energy for this work and how do you have more of it.

So I'll talk to you on the next one. And thank you again for listening for your patience as I've had this break. I am glad to be [00:21:00] [00:22:00] [00:23:00] back.

 

 

 

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