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Series 2, Ep19: My big announcement PART TWO

 

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Hey, sibling, I am so excited to get this message out to you because. This is part two of my big announcement, and this has already gone out via my mailing list more than a week ago. So this is overdue, but here we are and this is really about, yeah, this is the part two. So part one was my announcement that I'm closing unmasking unschool after four years of delivering it and all of the radical amazingness it was, and I'm going somewhere new.

I'm taking you somewhere new or those that want to come. And there's a new focus, a new energy with what I'm gonna be doing next. And so yeah, this episode, I really want to take you into some of the thinking that is I. Fueling this new direction, which [00:02:00] is, uh, also underpinning the new space that I'm gonna be coaching in, that I'm creating.

And that will be beginning in January. And I'm gonna talk to you about that at the end of this episode. But what I want to talk to you about is. What I've come to as really recognizing as the higher octave, like the harmonic next level of self connection and how I'm making that core and front and center of everything I'm doing and why.

So recently I was coaching someone, and this is where it came to me as almost like. Oh, oh, right. I need to think about this. I need to look at this. Because who I was coaching was saying, okay, before I think about the impact of my work, I want to, you know, think about me and make sure I'm okay. And the direction of the coaching didn't go where I'm [00:03:00] gonna take the conversation today.

It needed to go somewhere else, and this wasn't the focus. But in that moment, I clocked that as, oh. There's an oversight in what I've been sharing and teaching that is not quite true to what actually makes the biggest difference to you in your journey, in you being able to be more of who you are. You really opening up the vista of what's possible for you in your life and experiencing yourself, being centered, like what makes the actual biggest difference.

How I've been talking about that is self connection. And that's not, not true, right? Self connection provides a way of like even just seeking self connection has you oriented to the experiences you're actually having, the messages of your body mind, right? What's actually going on for you over and above?

Being [00:04:00] oriented to other people's comfort or what they might be thinking about you. And so self connection creates this framework. That means that you're focusing on something that provides such a powerful foundation for deciding and discerning the things that are for you that work. And a way to build a life that does send to you, that does feel good to you, and that actually supports you being more of who you are.

Right? So self connection. Yes. Good. But here's the thing. The thing that for me in my own journey that I've consistently gone to like this is the, I would say the secret sauce, like the thing I go to that actually pulls me out of me. That is showing me always what self connection means in that moment, and that has the biggest difference, has created the biggest difference and also [00:05:00] that I believe when I look at the journeys of everyone I've coached also, is the thing that's made the biggest difference to them is not so much orientation to self connection as it is connecting to.

Something bigger beyond the self that you can contribute to, right? That is you truly being of service to something beyond you. And I want to be really clear in how I talk about this, because why I don't mean is giving out of self extraction. What I don't mean is martyr, dim. You know, like selfless giving.

What I don't mean is being of service to something that you don't really believe in, you don't value, right? I mean, really you connecting in yourself to something bigger, beyond you. And this has been the thing, this has been the go-to [00:06:00] thing that has always helped me to sense into what do I have to give, like what is in me?

I. That could benefit something beyond me. And when I do that, it reveals to me do I need rest? Where am I lacking self-care? Am I in a place where I'm able to focus on what I'm giving? Or is there a bunch of shit in my way where I think I'm not good enough, or I'm worrying about so-and-so's thinking what so-and-so's thinking?

Or I'm focused on something that's less relevant, right? Or I'm distracted, or. When I focus on what I'm contributing to is when I get in the state of self connection the quickest because of the level of connection it creates, where my self connection is embedded inside of something beyond me, bigger than me, right?

It's connection to something [00:07:00] bigger, and I belong inside of that. So. This is so key and core to my own philosophy with myself, and I realized I've had a belief that. Oh, but I'm just gonna put people off, and this doesn't make any sense, but that people are wanting to focus on themselves or sort their own life out.

And me going out in the world and saying, you need to give when you maybe are feeling like you aren't in a space where you can do that. That it's gonna put you off. But actually this has been the thing that no matter what my life has been doing and how difficult or intense or under-resourced I've felt when I focus on that, it kind of.

Creates this filtering effect and prioritizes me for, well, what's going on in me that is actually a lie because it's, it's [00:08:00] some idea that I don't have anything of worth, or I'm not enough, or I don't have anything to give, right? That I can't contribute. And so orienting to that has meant that I've been able to focus on, okay, what?

What is the way that I best give? What is. The sustainable route to contributing. What is the need in the world or the, the thing I'm desiring most, that I most value, that I want to put all of my energy and resources into that therefore replenishes me because I believe in it. I'm effective at the thing because I'm doing what's in my strengths.

I'm contributing from what I can actually best give. Right. So it's like the thing that reveals to you who you need to be being so that you actually feel like you're being yourself. Now, that idea that people don't want that, I've really been thinking about is that true? And I think for a lot of people it's not [00:09:00] a lot of you.

A lot of us have big dreams of impact. Have things that we want to be and do and create in the world that do something right that has an effect, that has some kind of beneficial impact on someone else or on the culture, right? Or there's something that we see could be done better or differently, and we have that insight and that lived experience to be able to spot that.

Or there's some kind of aesthetic or way of thinking. A sensitivity, that means that you spot things or you see things in a certain way that other people don't. Right? So you finding the thing that is uniquely yours to go and contribute, actually pulls out of you the work that you could be doing that is the most satisfying, that is you feeling seen.

Because you're doing the work that actually [00:10:00] is the most highly valuable. And so you are having the response from the world around you of who you are when you are being that. So the work of what I'm calling cultural leadership, which I'm defining as right, it's you creating something new or creating culture or doing something in a new way that didn't exist before, or not the way that you are doing it, right, or you are contributing in some way.

And bringing people with you. And so there are skill sets involved in that. That mean that when you are naturally an innovator or a dreamer, a thinker, a creator, you are a visionary, you are interested in change, creating some kind of change in the world, you can't help but see another way of doing things, right?

Sometimes outta necessity or disability, always ingenuity, right? When you are that kind of person. Then what I see time and time again is the issue is not in the quality of your work. [00:11:00] The issue is not in your ideas. The issue is not the work itself. The issue is the confidence and the conviction, and the belief and the permission to put yourself out there and trusting that you can do that.

You can do what comes easily. You can do what is your specific strengths, right? You can do that. And have it work out, and that other people will recognize that value at the level that you want to take it. So trusting that tends to be the issue. I. And what happens when you are not sure that you can trust in that, that other people are going to resonate with that?

See the value in your chosen work that you can pursue that path and have it be something that other people recognize. That means you are not isolated. You are not separate from the group, but actually you are standing out. You're differentiating, you are leading, you are revealing something. You're showing a new way.

When you're not sure [00:12:00] that that's possible, that is when we end up being out of integrity with that impact that we could have and not doing the work that we most wanna do, right? So sometimes that could look like thinking that you need to convince other people who don't believe first, right? That you need to kind of look at how are they responding to your ideas or your suggestions or your first actions on that path, and using that as proof of whether it's possible for you.

Or not and thinking that where you need to focus is on convincing other people and when they're not convinced, 'cause you are not sure, then you don't feel like you can move forward, right? Another thing is thinking that, that how you show up has nothing to do with and has no influence on other people's belief.

Another way it shows up is undercharging and over giving. It might be that you're pushing past your own dreams. Your own limits and just fulfilling what other people or industry structures have [00:13:00] valued and recognized, but maybe you don't actually believe in it as much. So you're constantly coming up against your own inner resistance in a way that's really exhausting and feeling like you don't have energy for what you want.

You don't have energy for your dreams, and then you are in this cycle of maintaining the things that are. Mediocre in the sense of you are not really into them just to pay the bills right until the time is right or you suddenly have permission. Right, or you suddenly magically have a different circumstance.

Another way it shows up is constantly being in ideas mode or startup mode, beginner mode, and not really committing and going all in on, on, on one thing or one area, or doing 10 billion projects, having all these things that you could possibly do. But not taking any of them to completion. And so you start to not trust that that's possible.

And these are all things that I have been right. Another thing that happens is avoiding sharing your work with people [00:14:00] who could benefit from it, who would say yes to it. 'cause you're too scared to hear the nos, right, from people who won't. And also that frustration of how not constraining your focus down to the actual work that you most want to do.

Right, that you'd wanna be known for, that you want to be your thing. You want to create and build the whole entire world and universe inside of when you are not doing that, it's harder and the road is longer. So this is what happens when the thing that is you being in your strengths, you being in ease, you being in integrity with who you actually are, not believing that that is also the thing that is going to be valued in the world and by other people.

So the solution to this is cultivating the inner certainty, conviction, permission, belief by sourcing that conviction, sourcing that permission, sourcing that belief from connecting to the impact that your work could be having. Like when you connect with that, you [00:15:00] find an untapped, unending source of conviction and permission and belief.

Right. This is how I started solar systems. This is how I pivoted out of an entire art world and into an entirely different industry. In fact, I didn't pivot into an industry. I just leapt out because I was so convicted, because I was thinking about and connected to the impact that I could have in that moment over and above whether someone had certified me or approved me or given me permission, or said it's a good idea.

I was connected to who could it touch the world? It could contribute to the meaning it could create for someone, the reach it could have. The culture shift that I could spot was, was right there that I could be at the helm of, I could bring. And so that connection was a source of confidence where I didn't actually have any, I didn't know would anyone show up.

I didn't know if it would work. I didn't know if I [00:16:00] would fail. I didn't know the path. I didn't know how. And it was that connection that powered me past all of those questions and unknowns and into actually creating the experience of having my work be seen, be valuable, having a reach, having an impact, and being something that was real in the world.

So that connection leads to you doing the kinds of things. The kinds of bold actions that mean that not only you start to build the evidence for yourself, but also it means that other people can trust moving forward with you. And this is the cultural leadership bit. This is the bit that isn't you being separate from the group being isolated.

This is the part that is like when you are that convicted, you bring other people with you. So where I'm going, what I'm coaching on next is really the development of what I've identified as [00:17:00] six intangible skill sets that are on this path of cultural leadership. And some of these skill sets are remixed versions of the frameworks I've been working with for a long time.

So the. Solar system, the power system, but it's also some added bridge skill sets that I see as missing. You taking the path of not fitting in with what's not working, but you going after the thing that is yours to, to, to give often means that you also need the skillset of being able to, and being willing to stand out and be different, and realizing that that actually connects you more, not less.

That creates more connection 'cause it brings the people to you that resonate, that can suddenly spot you in a crowd that can see you. And I mean that metaphorically. So these skill sets, I haven't gone in detail 'cause I'm gonna talk more about them [00:18:00] at another time. But yeah, this is where I'm going and so the thing that I am creating that I'm gonna be.

Coaching in is called Flair House. Yep. We're all solar flares. The flair house is finally here. This is the focused track for honing those skill sets on the path of cultural leadership. These are intangible skill sets. These are all the inner and emotional and mindset add capacity, building skill sets for you really beaming out the work that you're here to do in the world and not holding back.

And having that really affirm to you and have you feel seen because that work is having impact, it's having reach and it's being valued, and you're experiencing that as something that is possible real and that you can go all in on. So if you are curious and interested to have a look, you can open the show notes and you will see a link where you can go and look at all the information, what's involved, and book that [00:19:00] consult with me.

To talk about your dreams, what you wanna make happen, and where you want to take your work in the world, or maybe just getting on track with what that might be for you. Go to Solar systems.xyz/flare house, or you can open the show notes and the link is there. And part two of this announcement is also that this will be the last episode of the Unmasking Unscored podcast.

I know, I know. Yeah. I'm smiling. I'm grinning because of what's coming next, which is I'm going to be starting a brand new podcast. This one will not disappear. I absolutely love it and I want it to stay on the internet as a resource, but I also want to shift into this new energy and this new subject matter, and so that needs a different vibe.

A different energy and [00:20:00] a different podcast. So the next episode that you will hear on this one is going to be a taster of that new podcast and it will direct you to go listen. Um, but that's not gonna come out for another couple of weeks as I focus on having conversations with all of you that want to be part of Flair House and join this inaugural class that's starting in January.

Alright, sibling, it's over and out from the Unmasking Unscored podcast from me. And I will see you in the [00:21:00] [00:22:00] [00:23:00] new.

 

  

 

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